…I was not super enamored of the whole colo-endo experience. A lot of people said it would be a breeze, you’ll sleep through it, the colyte you have to drink really isn’t that bad. Well no actually most people agreed the colyte stuff is pretty gross. And it was. But that whole part about how I’d sleep through it..! Lies.
I think because I had the upper endoscopy first, I didn’t have enough sleepy juice in me to get through the colonoscopy, and apparently nobody was overly concerned by my waking up mid-procedure. I want you to try and just imagine what it might feel like to have a tube snaking around through your intestines, biting off tiny samples for later biopsy. It feels pretty much exactly like you think it would. Unless you didn’t think it would be uncomfortable at all. In that case, add a few sharp stabs and pinches here and there.
Minor consolation was getting to watch the action on a big screen in front of me. It was like an episode of Nature.. You know because they’re always showing episodes where a snake with a camera on its head is chomping on the inside of a worm.. Eww, too far?
Anyway! Mildly traumatized, but over it now. My healing process was enhanced by about a million percent when I got home from my procedure and started nomming the crap out of this:
Do you know what this is? You might say, a fruity bouquet! But you’d only be half right. This this a lactose- and gluten-free delicious bouquet of food I can eat, that was delivered at the order of none other than la zanosaurus, famous for many things but on this blog, most famous for my trip to her farm. Fruity bouquets send her into giggly fits apparently, and for her generous sense of humor I am eternally grateful.
Huge thanks are Also due to my mother, who drove me to the medical center, sat there for a couple hours while I was probed, drove me home, and other amazing feats as well. AND thanks to Zach, who took over my care in the evening and waited on me hand and foot, since I could hardly lift my head from the arm of the couch, much less prepare food for myself. He has gotten so much practice at that “in sickness” bit..
But(t) anyway.. the initial finding from the scope was that I have a lot of inflammation in there basically, but they won’t really know anything until all the samples are biopsied, which won’t be done till maybe next week. So in the meantime, I’m back off gluten, and continue to be off lactose. Which made Thanksgiving baking and eating a little different, but not bad at all – since my father-in-law is allergic to gluten, there was already going to be a certain amount of things safe for him, and then everyone went out of their way to make things lactose-free also. MIL’s wild rice stuffing = most amazing thing ever holy moly. I made a lactose-free versions of my pumpkin soup and duchess potatoes, as well as a gluten- and lactose-free pumpkin pie (recipes coming soon maybe), so I think all I really had to turn down were the rolls and gravy. All in all I had a really fabulous thanksgiving – maybe more on that later!
I have apparently skipped over the prime of life and jumped straight into my mid-70s, if my new penchant for sharing unsolicited medical details is any indication.. (sorry) It’s ok, Zan and I will just hang out with our elderly friends on the library board. I’m gonna go start shopping for a red hat.