bad news bears ( mathau..)

Every once in a while I have what I like to refer to as butt problems. Before you run screaming from what is sure to be a hugely TMI post, that is as graphic as it’s going to get (you are still welcome to run screaming actually, this is kind of a weird post). I only mention it to explain why I recently went to the doctor and had blood work done.. I’m not dying or anything, but.

I might be lactose intolerant. AND/OR allergic to gluten.

Generally I’m a pretty happy person I think, I roll with the punches.. Cheese monster that I’ve always been, still, I’ve been off dairy for a week now and only whining a little bit. But this morning I got a message from my doctor saying one of the gluten allergy tests came back positive and she’s referring me to the butt doctor to investigate possible celiac disease.

Cue wailing.

I may be overreacting a tiny bit. I won’t even know for sure until I hear back from the butt doctor (sorry I keep calling him the butt doctor. he’s not actually a proctologist, he’s a gastroenterologist. but butt doctor is more fun/easier to say).

I’ve been feeling a little better being off dairy for the past week, and as sad as I was to be lactose intolerant, I was so relieved it wasn’t a gluten thing. What if it’s BOTH? I guess if I can have dairy back, I can handle being allergic to gluten. My father-in-law and I will have garbanzo-flour-pizza parties, we’ll have a ball.

But if I’m not allowed dairy OR gluten.. I’m probably going to become pritty hard to live with for a while. Juuuuust fyi.

But don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted.

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17 Responses to bad news bears ( mathau..)

  1. Helen says:

    Aw. That’s rough. :/ I’m lactose intolerant, and my father is allergic to gluten, so we have LOTS of fun figuring out what we can make for family dinners, haha. But- no worries, there are lots of foods that don’t have lactose, or gluten, or both. You’ll be okay, even though bread and cheese? Really hard to give up. But you can do it! (Whatever ‘it’ turns out to be!)

    • d-day says:

      Thanks Helen! I’m sure once I find out either way, I’m going to be back here begging for food recommendations, I hope you will come back with suggestions.. :)

      • Helen says:

        But of course! ;)

        • Marlee says:

          I would like to thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this website. I am hoping the same higag-rhde site post from you in the upcoming also. Actually your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own site now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a great example of it.

      • Kierra says:

        Hey Nick, I wonder if you could somehow send Agent Don Williams a link to this story. Have you thought of submitting this story to any other news outlets, local news papers etc? Oh, and Agent Wi7#1ams&l82il; Supervisor.

  2. Oh man, I don’t know if I could handle giving up bread AND cheese! Those are my two favorite things! Crossing my fingers for you!

    • d-day says:

      mee toooo. and I’ve said that exact thing when I’ve heard of other people being lactose or gluten intolerant.. “oh I could never handle that.” well I guess we’ll find out how I handle whatever it ends up being. thanks for the finger-crossing :)

  3. Nina says:

    Ugh I’m so sorry to hear that. My mom is lactose intolerant and although not totally gluten intolerant, seems to be sensitive to it and has had to cut back on wheat a lot. I’m expecting that any and all of this will also eventually effect me.
    I know it won’t be easy whatever it is you find out you may have to give up, but I suspect you’ll quickly find lots of substitutes and ways to deal. There are still lots of indulgences that don’t contain gluten and/or dairy ;-)

    • d-day says:

      hmm so lactose intolerance does sometimes go with gluten sensitivity? UGH. haha. I’m sure I can find some joy in life without cheese or bread.. hahaha I’m being dramatic. kind of guessing since 2 out of 3 tests came back negative, it will only be a sensitivity to it if anything, and I’ll still get to eat some gluten-y things.. trying not to assume anything just yet but I’m hoping..! thanks for the encouragement, hope you never develop either of these things!

  4. craftosaurus says:

    Oh man, that would be tough. Fingers crossed for you!

  5. Ceej says:

    I realized before the wedding that I’m sensitive to both, too. When I went on the Paleo Diet I suddenly had NO stomach issues, which was a first in ummmmm ever. I can’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t had ridiculously upset stomachs.

    The more I read about different diets, the more convinced I become that humans are not meant to have dairy, or processed grains, or soy products. I won’t go on and on about it here, but I can peep you some links if you want. Also you should try Paleo and then we can have Paleo dinner parties!!

    • d-day says:

      haha yes!! I have another friend on the paleo diet, though he doesn’t follow it because of any dietary restrictions so he cheats on a lot of it (pretty sure he consumes dairy, and some of the other no-nos). paleo dinner parties! woooop.

      no soy though? I don’t know, I really love edamame. and those little morningstar farms soy sausage patties.. sigh.

      anyway yes links please! can’t hurt to check it out.

  6. meghan says:

    Oh dear. Keep me posted.

  7. Sara N says:


  8. Caitlin says:

    nooooooo— so upset for you! hoping the news is better than expected! (fingers crossed)

  9. Marnie Tao says:

    Oh stinker!! But, I mean it would be great to at least find out what the crap has been up with the butt problem, right? (pun intended ;-) My friend Alicia is gluten sensitive, and since we have them over for dinner about once a week, I’ve been trying to expand my gluten-free repertoire. Good thing to note – most Asian/Indian food is pretty much both gluten and dairy free! You can make almost any Asian noodle dish with rice noodles, but they also now have Brown rice noodles which have a texture much closer to that of regular noodles and work well in Italian/western style pasta recipes (much better than corn, or multigrain pastas I’ve tried). She has noticed that if she has something else to eat first, she can handle small amounts of gluten without a problem (for example a cookie after a gluten free meal), but not on an empty stomach. When I went gluten free for two weeks in support of a friend, I found the sugar much harder to give up than the wheat (i.e. pastry and cakes). Giving up bread would be a total trauma worthy of mourning (I’ll wear black for you!!), I have to agree. But maybe these happy thoughts will help: Flourless chocolate cake!! Pumpkin Soup! Sushi! Morrocan food! KungPao Chicken!

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