What the crap is with sugar cookies. How come nobody told me they are the stupidest cookies ever and I shouldn’t ever try to make them? OR, why am I a moron who can’t figure them out.
For Mother’s Day we had plans to go to brunch with our moms, and zp’s dad and brother. I wanted to give the moms something special, so I planned to bake cookies that I could frost in fun ways and write “MOM” on them, and add sprinkles. And I’d wrap them in plastic and tie a ribbon on, and then also give them a little bag of star-shaped smaller cookies. It would be a glorious package of sugary gratitude.
I dug out my star-shaped cookie cutter, and boldly stated that I would just free-form cut the heart-shaped ones, because I’m awesome (apparently I’d already forgotten the dangers of bold statements).
Sugar cookies = sugar butter flour. Maybe a little vanilla and lemon zest to be fancy. Mix together. Chill. Roll out. Make fun shapes. Bake a few minutes. Cool. Frost. JOY. Right?
Not so much. I even followed the instructions of this helpful commenter (see first comment under recipe), for the so-super-easy way of rolling/cutting/baking sugar cookies. Maybe they meant wax paper, not parchment paper? Maybe they meant to tell me the magical way to keep the dough from STICKING TO EVERYTHING..?
I tried illustrating my feelings during this whole process, but Paint wasn’t cooperating with me today. So this is pretty much the series of faces I went through, on a loop, for about 2 hours:
And then I just ran out of time. So I felt a bit like a 10 year old presenting my moms with this very unceremonious sandwich baggy smeary mess of a heart shaped cookie. But they’re really sweet moms, so they accepted their gifts very graciously. Thanks Moms! Happy Mother’s Day!