ohmygod shoes.

first of all, I hope none of you missed this years-old gem: shoes.

I just feel like we can’t have a real conversation about shoes until everyone has seen that. I just watched it again and it’s exactly as hilarious as I remember. Moving on..

I saw these shoes on Rags and Feathers yesterday (via We Heart This, thanks Alyssa).

image by Rags and Feathers Vintage

I’d like to thank them for putting the size right at the front of the listing title so I know before I click on it that I’m just torturing myself, they’re clearly too small. Still I get angry that upon seeing a few more angles of them, they’re even more amazing than I thought, and they still don’t fit me. There needs to be an Etsy shop of vintage adorable shoes in size 10 and up. Maybe it exists already?

So I’m bitter about the vintage shoe size selection, but it’s not that I hate my feet. I kind of like my feet, they are well proportioned. They hold me up when I walk, I can’t complain. It’s the shoe elves I really despise.

note the evil mustache.

Shoe elves, do you think that anyone buying above a woman’s size 8.5 is really a drag queen? Or are we such a tiny minority that we just don’t deserve any kind of design considerations (or even half sizes)? I also have a bone to pick with whoever decided 4″ heels are hot and should be worn by everyone regardless of natural height. I have no desire to be 6 feet tall! I enjoy being 5’9″ or 5’10” tops, that is a comfy perspective on the world. Give me 2.5 or 3 inch heels, I can probably handle walking. Any more than that and I am on the floor. Still it seems that the heel heights increase with the shoe size. Does not compute.

Not that I don’t think women of all heights who successfully rock 4″ heels are hawt. They are, I admire them no end. I just can’t do it!

Honestly it’s really not that there are zero cute shoes out there for my feet or my inability to walk in high heels. I’m probably just too cheap to buy them. What I want is a plethora of vintage/thrift store and Payless finds that are cute at a comfortable 2.5″ heel (or flats! I would be happy with a zillion cute pairs of flats), that don’t look like they were designed for a size 7.5 and then just stretched out in the arch until I could fit my ugly-stepsister foot into them. I’m dreaming right?

Any big foot sisters out there, please share your cute shoe sources!

This entry was posted in craziness, doodles, rambling. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to ohmygod shoes.

  1. Mary says:

    As a 6.5 I have no advice to offer. Except that I have to say:

    1.) I STILL don’t get the humor in that video and am just generally creeped out by it! (Sorry, can we still be friends?)

    2.) Those shoes be rockin’.

    3.) I will never stop loving your doodles. Seriously, they make me smile.

  2. Jo says:

    I laugh my ass off at that video! I just wish I had a personal shoe shopper who would put the shoes in my closet so I would wear them without having to get past the guilt of buying them.

  3. ElizMarWilli says:

    Hahaha +1 to the shoe guilt!

    I have to agree…. lots of bigger sized shoes really do look like they are for drag queens. :( Especially if they are a cheaper brand, they seem to really slack on the design. Wish I had some suggestions for you! I’ve taken to trying on Hello Kitty rubber boots from the kid’s dept at Target………

  4. kindofamess says:

    And a size ten sista, I can relate. And I have no secret shoe sources. Except maybe to try big girl stores like Lane Bryant. Their shoes aren’t THAT cute, but they have tons of flats and nothing below a size 7. AND they ship free to stores if you order online.

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