Meg’s news today gets me so PUMPED. I’ve been looking around for cans to kick all day, just to let it OUT.
I don’t necessarily aspire to the same things as she does, but I sure as hell aspire to not do what I’m doing currently. But I feel like my negative attitude toward my job is only making it worse, so I’m going to try to change the way I think/talk about it. My job is.. not bad. It’s fine. It’s good. OK I’m really struggling to work up the enthusiasm but at least I’m not saying it’s terrible. Which is what I have been saying up till now.
What I do is write a newsletter and plan events as part of a local mission to reduce traffic in a very specific urban district. My job is partially publicly funded in a complicated way – just enough so that I have to deal with a bit of bureaucratic blahblahblah. And if you can keep a secret: I’m overpaid. Probably why they’ve managed to keep their hooks in me for the past three years. It’s really hard to leave a (mind-meltingly boring) job when the economy is crumbling around you, particularly when you don’t have an amazing creation of yours that blossoms into a full-time career. Heh.
I have lots of goofy interests that deep-down I wish could turn into an actual revenue stream, but deeper-down I kind of know I don’t have the drive to do those things. I love my holga, I love cameras in general, but to become an artiste? EH. I don’t think that’s really what I even want, it’s just an ideal me that exists in a fantasy world (along with the me who writes romance novels, and sells things on Etsy, and and). Some people are really just meant to be hobbyists, and I’m ok with that!* It just sure would be nice to have another source of income. Am I wrong? AM I WRONG. (sorry just watched the big lebowski a couple days ago)
Anyway Meg’s post kicked me in the pants a little bit. Yeah I could sit here whining about my boring job I get paid too much for (??), or I could do something about it. Before this job, I used to get a lot out of working, I need to find that again. Either in the form of a new job, or a new outlook on current job.
*probably sounds like I’m trying to convince myself that my dreams aren’t worth striving toward. But I think I really am just being realistic, and I don’t think I’m just telling myself that.